End of an era....

So I've been working in a lil modest store for nearly 2 years now.. And I recieved news it was closing in 2 weeks a couple of days ago. I've had a love hate relationship with the store. On one side its the perfect job. I can sit on facebook, surfing the internet all day while blaring music, hungover with a coffee and on the phone. (Yeah I know- amazing)

But on the other side, Have you ever had not one thing to do. Once you've sweeped, dusted, re-arranged and repeated.. There's not much left.. Which leaves me with a lot of.. IMMM BORREEEDD time. Where I end up Wikapedia'ing things like Patron and Tina Fay. The pro's definitely out way the cons and I've had some memories here which will stay with me/burnt into my memory.

The store is split into two, one side being a Tango/Salsa wear business and the other jewellery, home wares etc. Who would have thunk I would be specialised in Tango/Salsa wear!! I literally catched myself knowing the answer to..
"Which shoes should I get if I dance Salsa?"
"Oh.. You'll need the Suede Soled shoes because when you dance it gives you traction so that you have more defined dance moves, and its also better for beginners"

When did that happen. I wonder if I'll ever use that knowledge in the future. I'll certaintly know when a bedazzled, lycra mini dress with connecting G-string will be appropriate. And they even look good on men! Fitting a fierce transvestite who needed a dress to go with her patent pumps.

I'm going to miss what is pretty much my store and smelling of 1000 soaps and room difusers after work. And the barista who've I've known for 2 years and we bond over being like.. "Soooeee hungover".

Time for me to Exeunt though.. and find a new job for me bitch and moan in. Yea boi.

Chat.. Roulette

The place where freaks rule and dick is what you use to greet people with.
I've shown a fair amount of people Chatroulette.. Mostly because its hilarious if you can handle playing the game 'What is it'.. whether a skin coloured moving thing is a finger, elbow or dick???.. Oh hang on its a dick. Yes, its gross.. But I'm not going to lie for a while I was almost addicted. It's really amusing meeting people online who are like 'God its so gross on here!' Cut to them asking you to undress.

On my adventures.. I got punk'd and thought I was Chatrouletting with the Jonas bros.. Turns out there really are Cyber Fruitloops around who actually looped 10 secs of jonas bros video while telling me that they were backstage at there london concert. I definitely thought it was real.. Freaking out on the phone and taking screen shots at the time.. And told me that I should flash my tits even though it would break there Disney contract .... Yeah.

There was a guy who set up his room to look like a cave, and was dressed as Osama Bin Laden..
I was like where are you.. and he's like I'm in hiding.. Ha ha ha

And I had a daym fine looking guy who was acting in Vancouver and added me on facebook.. At the end of the conversation he wanted to catch up when he was in sydney. But I don't know how I feel about knowing how we met.

Aside from the freaks you can actually have good quality conversations with some people about stuff like the weather in NYC, sydney, music, travelling, food etc.. Though I haven't hit it up in a while its something to do when you're bored and can enter into someone's bedroom and not have to actually be there.

In reality, not the type of people who like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain...

Inspired from some of my friends, who through a facebook thread, started posting their own versions of their personal ads,I thought i'd check some real ones out. I once had a short job stint at a dating agency answering phones, and arranging their files(office b*tch), where they called me by another name(bronte)..I still don't know why. But I chatted to some interesting people, and I once even had to talk to a customer who specifically asked if I'd be his slave.


My fave personal ads from todays classifieds...

"Description:
soggypanties dot blogspot dot com
Selling my sexy little panties and also doing live cam show"


"Item Type:
Used
Description:
If you want to waste your money, send it to me
20415 68 AVE W
STE C-203
LYNNWOOD WA 98036-7415"

Description:
"Very Hot Busty traveller looking to trade QFF(qantas frequent flyer) points for discreet fulfilling meet up. Sydney or Gold Coast. email me for info"

"I am putting myself out there on offer for any girls 18 to 40 years old, for NO STRINGS ATTACHED SEX!!! Im quite discreet and I am not looking for a relaitonship AT ALL! email me if your interested."
If any of you ladies out there are interested---> check what you can have as all yours.


"Description:
Hi , I have a business offer for a women ages 25 to 30 ,it's an offer that is not involve sex in any way and a very easy money for an open minded women , basicly it's a simple offer since you will help me in my issues you will compensate for your help in money ,as I said a very easy and non sex related offer.
please contact me in my email for further instructions.
thanks
Idan
State:
New South Wales
Price:
$ 10000.00"

I get the feeling Idans not selling himself with this as his chosen profile pic(take note of tshirt).




http://purpleslinky.com/humor/the-wonderfully-wacky-world-of-personal-ads/
A site with some good ones, if you want to keep reading. In fact I hopefully found you some more late night googling. There are hilarious ones all over the net. I sourced my ones from ozclassifieds.

give it back

"Remember spring swaps snow for leaves
You'll be happy and wholesome again
When the city clears and sun ascends"


I just had to tape up a piece of glass I smashed in a raging fit, for fear of freezing to death tonight if I don't. I'm putting the rage down to, the cold that grates on your bones every time you walk out the door. I was though, reminded tonight, that its only one more month to go, and we will be back to happyland. I was also reminded tonight that the grass is always greener, but in this case, I'm certain that the grass that is summer has to be fluorescent , compared to this cold.

B.A.L.I.

I recently got back from a 2 week jaunt in Bali..
It was ridiculously relaxing.. Boozed, attempted a tan.. Found out I can actually tan.. News to me discovering this in December! shopped.. Perved on hot surfers.. Did nothing..
I did some research before I left on some bars and was keen to check out 'Rock Bar' at the Ayana Resort Jimberan. The first time we went we were in need of a drink believing that the dodgy driver we had was taking us down an alley to rape us. Finally we got there and it was closed for a private function. Not taking no for an answer we tried to blend in with the full asian wedding party.. Not exactly inconspicuous.. They cottoned on.. Even with our story that we knew 'Bill and Jan'. We then tried again a week later. Definitely one of the best bars I've ever been to.
The best time to go is sunset, which I believe would be mind blowing.
Cocktails + service + being on a rock over the ocean..

Cheeeck it out

LOVE...

One of my favourite movie scenes..